Right now I’m sitting in my bedroom. I have one suit cased packed and another that is empty. I can’t seem to muster the strength to open my final bag; I can’t seem to put my belongings, new and old, away. It is not the concept of leaving that frightens me. It is not going home to family and friends that I dread. This suitcase does not want to be packed because it doesn’t know when, or if, it will ever come back.

Coming to Rome was the best thing I have ever done. I got to fulfill so many lifelong dreams that I never would have been able to otherwise. I ate some of the best food in the world; I walked along the Charles Bridge in Prague; I drank sangria on a beach in Barcellona; I saw the rolling hills of Scotland and the intertwined canals in Amsterdam; I took a boat ride along the mountainous shoreline of Sorrento and swam in the Mediterranean coast of Capri; I went out with my friends more nights than not and made friends in Italy that I never want to say goodbye to.

I am going to miss a lot of things about this experience. One of the thing’s I will miss the most is the city of Rome itself. The little neighborhood I live in is perfect. There are local bars, cafes, and mini marts that I walk by everyday on my way to Trastevere. In these shops there are Italians working hard, making piping hot espressos and having quick conversations with the men and women that pour out of their shops as effortlessly as the espresso flows into a cup.
I will miss the neighborhood of Trastevere and it’s uneven cobblestoned streets, buildings dawned in colorful grafitti, cafes, pizza places, and its inhabitants. I will miss the way the sun burns over Ponte Sisto, and the view you get of the bridge from the monument at Piazza Trilussa. It is a timeless view, one that peaks from the quiet neighborhood to the bustling centro historico on the other side of the river.
I will miss the old man who plays the accordion very, very badly on the same little box on the bridge, and his homeless friend who stands with a cane saying buongiorno to every person that waltzes by. These people on this bridge are characters, yet are less odd than the gypsy on the very same bridge who dressed as a baby and sat in a carriage for money for the first three months we were here. This man is even less odd than the asian man wearing a sombrero playing Italian music on the accordion just steps away.
The way Italians act is very different than Americans. They are loud but not in an obnoxious way because they exude passion and vivacity. The way they use their hands is a language in itself, one which I may never be fluent in, that is so characteristic to the culture it seems cliche to mention it. However, it is in the things as subtle as the way of moving ones hands that make this place special. Those hands are the hands of cappuccino experts, pizza dough pullers, mojito makers, dog walkers, cigarette smokers, and above all a deeply passionate people that have been a pleasure to observe and interact with.

I will miss the old woman on the oxygen tank who sits outside of Cafe Antica smoking a cigarette. She has a raspy voice that is thick with wisdom and clouded with smoke, and when she laughs or smiles a part of me is happy.
I will miss the homeless couple that sits outside of the steps of the church on Via Vittorio Emmanuelle. The woman is broad, yellow toothed, a bit bearded, and has a distinctive odor. The man is as tall as she is wide, has equally bad teeth, and a hairdo that appears to be one giant dread lock fashioned like a birds nest that sits at the front of his forehead. To many people they are just squatters, homeless people begging for money because somewhere along the line they really lost their path in life. To me they are a funny representation of love and contempt. I have sort of spied on them all semester long and have watched an at times disturbing and always grotesque love story play out.
I have watched them huddle together on the coldest nights, clinging to the warmth of their matching blue Italia sweatsuits. I have watched the woman read to the man a book about Italian politics and I observed as the man stared intently into the eyes of his companion. I watched them do the most simple things for each other like holding hands, and lending a shoulder to rest a head on. I once even passed as they were washing each others feet. They are inexplicably odd yet they are endearing and intriguing. I wish I could know their story more, and I am going to miss their strange and bizarre love. Mainly, I will miss it because it reminds me that even when life seems really, really bad, if you are surrounded by the right people, or person, it can still be pretty sweet.
I will miss Spillo, my host dog. He’s a weird dog and is very shy. He gets nervous whenever my host mom isn’t around and sometimes stairs at the floor tiles for two or three minutes at a time with his nose on the ground and his eyes fixed open. However, he is one of the sweetest pups I’ve ever known. He always greets me and my roommate at the door when we get back home, and he looks up at me at dinner with freakishly long eyelashes that are also adorable. He has been a great dog and has brightened up my mood whenever I’ve been sad or stressed and I wouldn’t trade having had him for the world.
This should go without saying, but I will miss my host mom, Federica, immensely. She is the sweetest woman I could have asked to live with. She is kind and warm and cooks delicious Italian food and has gone out of her way time and time again to make sure that I am comfortable here and enjoying myself. She lets me and my roommate live as we please, but provides us with the comfort of knowing we have someone that is truly on our side and having that comfort has made this experience so much easier. She lives her life with ease, values friendship and family, and is passionate about her job: restoring ancient paintings. She is one of the most extraordinary people and I am so lucky to have spent these past few months under her roof.
Then, there’s my little family at Cafe Negresco. Claudio and Nini, the two Albanian-Italian drunk Uncles I never knew I needed. They treat us Loyola students so well, in fact the other night Claudio went around on his cell phone introducing some of us to his sister who lives in the Bronx. Whenever we go, the exclaim our names and kiss the tops of our heads and make jokes about us that we sometimes don’t understand; they made me feel a little bit like a local even though I never truly will be. They made me feel like people can be welcomed and have a good time anywhere they go because what matters most isn’t where we come from or where we are going, but who we are and how we treat others. They have been such a huge part of my experience here in Rome and I’m so glad that my local spot was local and not an Americanized bar with only study abroad kids.
There are so many other people who have influenced my trip. Even the ones I don’t really know well like the friendly owner of Scampo in Campo di Fiore, Danielle, the bouncer at our favorite bar Shari Vari, the guy with the mustache who gave us our delicious halal food, and even the gypsies that lay on their bellies with nothing but a paper cup laid out. No matter how much I talked to them or got to know them, seeing familiar faces around the city and recognizing and being recognized time and time again really has validated the immersive nature of my experience; it proves to me that in some way I have left my impact on the city and that it has not only impacted me.
However much the characters I have gotten to recognize throughout the city have changed me, I have to give credit where credit is due. The friends I have made here, both new and old, are some of the most impactful friendships I have ever had. We may not have all came here best friends or even acquaintances, but we are leaving with a shared experience that has changed us all in ways only we can understand. I am not going to name names, because you know who you are, but without the amazing company I kept over these last 14 weeks the streets of Rome would have just been another place. My memories would only be background images, strings of streets and cobblestones with no major players providing the color to the pictures. You all have been the color of this trip. You all made it what I always dreamed it could be. Without you I would be eager to go home, with you I wish we could stay in this country that we all love dearly indefinitely.

I am only twenty years old. It is a distinct privilege to be here. It is something I treasure and I know I am lucky to have been granted such an amazing opportunity. If going abroad has taught me anything, which it does every single day, it has taught me to appreciate not only the beauty of life, but the things that make life so good. The details. The guy you see every morning walking to class, the bartender at your favorite bar, your favorite slice of pizza, the steps at Piazza Trilussa and the most iconic land mark in all of Rome: the Pantheon. You have to hold onto the tiny things and never let them go.

